Sunday, October 9, 2011
Interview Questions
Interview Questions:
Interview Questions from the National Association of Nannies
1) Is this a live-in or live-out position?
2) What is the starting date?
3) Do you see this as a long-term position?
4) Parents’ occupations?
5) Do you work outside the home ,or from your home?
6) If the parents work at home, you need to set up guidelines for how to handle things
when you and they are there at the same time.
7) Are other adults, besides the parents, living in the home?
8) Children’s names and ages?
9) What are the children’s interests and hobbies?
10) Please describe your home and the area where you live.
11) Is there a house alarm, gated entry or other system that requires a code?
12) Do you anticipate moving in the near future?
13) Do you plan to have more children in the near future?
14) Will your nanny receive a raise when you have another baby, or
extra pay for extra children?
15) Do you have pets?
16) Do you plan to get any pets?
17) What are nanny’s responsibilities regarding animals?
18) What are your household rules?
19) Can your nanny have guests? Such as nannies and moms with age-appropriate
children for play dates.
20) Can your nanny have friends visit or spend the night during off time?
21) Are any rooms in your house that are off limits to children or nanny?
22) Is there any sort of dress code for nanny at work (i.e., no jeans)?
23) Do the children or the parents have allergies I should be aware of?
24) Special dietary needs?
25) What is your discipline plan or child rearing philosophy?
26) What values do you want taught and reinforced in your children?
27) What religion are you, and how do you expect your nanny to participate in the child’s
religious teaching?
28) How does your religion affect your daily life?
29) What is your position on videotaping
30) Hours
31) What hours and days do you want Nanny to work?
32) Are these hours flexible, or does 8 a.m. – 6 p.m. mean precisely 8-6?
33) Will your nanny be expected to work evenings or weekends?
34) Schedule
35) What is the daily schedule of your typical day?
36) How might your schedule change?
37) Will your schedule change during the summer, over Christmas, etc?
38) Will Nanny’s job description change along with a change in schedule?
39) If so, how, and when?
(Example: Summer vs. school year.)
40) Who makes the children’s schedules?
41) - Parents, nanny, or is setting their schedule a combined effort?
42) • What’s your procedure for spontaneous
Activities
Do you want Nanny to check in with you, leave a note or phone message, or is this
not an issue?
43) •Do you want a daily journal or log kept?
(what happened today)?
44) Will there be a nanny workstation - i.e. desk, area for files, bulletin board, monthly
calendar, computer with high-speed Internet connection?
Duties
45) How would you describe the “ideal nanny”?
46) Define your idea of your nanny’s role in your family.
47) What are Nanny’s responsibilities as they relate to children?
48) Are non-child-related tasks and responsibilities a part of the job you want performed?
49) Laundry? - For children? For parents?
50) Who makes and changes the children’s bedding?
51) Who plans the meals, cooks, and shops for groceries?
52) Will the nanny cook for the children, parents, or family?
53) Who purchases the children’s clothes, toys, and supplies?
54) What financial arrangements will be made to facilitate the shopping?
55) Is there other household help?
56) Who supervises them?
57) Will I be expected to take the children to doctor appointments, music lessons, classes?
58) Car
59) Is a car provided? Is the car available for the nanny’s personal use, or only for use
while
she is on duty? Will the vehicle
60) be shared with the parents?
61) Will your nanny be expected to use her own car? If yes, who will pay costs for
insurance, maintenance and gas?
62) How is your nanny covered by insurance?
63) Travel
64) Do you travel?
65) Will your nanny be expected to travel with you?
66) What is the pay rate for me traveling with your family?
67) Taxes?
68) Health insurance?
69) IRA?
70) Retirement benefits?
71) Paid Holidays?
72) Work holidays?
73) Professional days?
74) Childcare related classes and conferences?
75) Gym membership?
76) Separate phone provided?
77) Will you provide me with a cell phone or pager, or will you pay my monthly bill if I get
one for myself? It will be to the family’s benefit that their nanny have a cell phone.)
78) Sick Pay
79) Paid sick days?
80) How many?
81) What is your backup childcare plan if I am sick or on vacation?
PAY and Benefits
82) Will I be paid hourly or salary?
83) Is the salary you are offering a net figure or a gross amount?
84) Will you be doing my taxes or using a tax service?
85) I’d like to spend some time with your children before I make a decision; is this ok with
you?
86) Are you willing to sign a work agreement with me that includes a 90-day trial period?
Communication
87) is extremely important for nannies and their employers. Are you willing to meet with me
on a regular basis so we can discuss how things are going?
88) Will I receive an evaluation from you, and raises on a yearly or bi-yearly basis?
89) Will I receive severance pay if I am terminated early?
Vacation
90) How many vacation days do I receive a year?
91) Are those taken at the time of my choice or your choice?
92) How much notice will I receive or should I give regarding vacation?
93) When you vacation beyond my allotted time off and I am not traveling with you, will you
still pay me?
Questions for Live-In Nannies
94) What accommodations are provided for Nanny (room, bath,.)?
95) If your nanny is in a separate apartment, how will grocery expenses be handled?
96) Who is responsible for cleaning Nanny’s area, and by what standards?
97) What are Nanny’s days off?
98) Are there any household rules Nanny or the children must observe on Nanny’s days
off?
99) How does activities on nanny’s day off effect the households flow?
100) Do you have animals? What are nanny’s responsibilities regarding animals?
101) Who will cover Nanny’s moving expenses to your hometown if she accepts this
position?
102) Who will cover moving expenses when the position is completed?
Better Nanny Interviews
Better Nanny Interviews
By Karen Braschayko
You're ready for your nanny job interview. You're on time, resume
and portfolio in hand, thinking about your childcare style and
trying to feel out if this family will be a good match.
Yet, you're nervous. What will they ask this time?
Any nanny who has been to a few interviews knows that she is in for
anything. From boyfriends to STD tests to our childhoods, parents
and agencies ask nannies questions that are illegal in other realms.
Agency applications often contain similarly invasive questions. Do
you have any disabilities or congenital defects? Have these test
results filled out by your physician and returned to us with your
application. Will you submit to an HIV test? What medications do you
take? Have you ever been depressed? Have you ever been in an abusive
relationship?
Many nannies feel violated. We are neglectful child abusers, guilty
until proven innocent. These questions can put a nanny on trial for
her personal life and never allow her to display professional
knowledge.
Often, parents focus on personal issues and never reach the heart of
the matter: what will this caregiver actually do with my child all
day?
"They are too worried about whether or not I wear contacts to ask
about what I will feed their child," said a nanny in Kansas City,
Missouri.
Our profession is unlike any other. We are in someone's home, having
unsupervised contact with their children, their possessions and
their lives. Families rely on us, and a disruption in our lives
means a disruption in theirs. I absolutely want nannies screened
properly, better than we are now.
But the interview process can be degrading. I often ask myself: I
may love my job, but why do I subject myself to this? I have
multiple credentials, excellent references and 13 years of
experience with children, so why are people asking me if I have a
boyfriend?
Why are we talking about my childhood, when the real issue is what
kind of childhood do you want for your child?
With a little forethought and care, parents can find out what they
need to know, and agencies can help them find the right way to ask.
Plan First
So often I arrive at an interview and the parents have no idea where
to start. They are even unclear about what a professional nanny
does. Many parents ask invasive questions because they are new to
the process, understandably nervous and have not planned. Agencies
should guide clients to prepare.
Agencies screen nannies at different levels. Parents should find
exactly what an agency has done to select nanny candidates and what
background checks have been performed. From there, they can decide
where to focus.
Center on the aspects of having a nanny that matter most. What kind
of care do you want your child to receive? What do you want to
happen in your home each day?
Consider the qualities you would like in a nanny, and rank them.
What is your childcare style? A boisterous nanny may fit better than
a quiet one. Do you require an active nanny to swim with the
children, or a nanny with experience in music? Is a nanny a student
or a skilled caregiver? Should she spend every moment with the
children, or hang back and allow free play? Will she be a member of
the family, or would you prefer professional reserve? Would you like
a nanny with child development education, or a Montessori bias? Will
her infant care style fit with yours?
Discuss all aspects of daily care. Discipline, nutrition and
exercise are central topics. Ask how she deals with specific medical
emergencies, and if she treats a fever. If your child has a medical
condition, find out if she is knowledgeable and would follow proper
treatment. If she will be driving your children in her vehicle, ask
how she maintains it.
Will your nanny travel with you? It's not necessary to find out if
she is married if she is willing to be away from home for long
periods of time. If she is willing to commit to a one-year contract,
it's likewise not necessary to ask if she is planning to have a baby
anytime soon.
Once you have the vital topics, think of ways to ask. Are there
questions that would offend you if you were being interviewed? You
certainly need to protect your children and ask the questions that
will make you comfortable. But if you are going to ask a question
that would be illegal in a different employment situation, explain
why you would like to know and ask in a job-specific way.
Provide a statement of values for your children. Rather than asking
a nanny about her religion, tell her what religious base you provide
and ask her if she can support those beliefs. If you need a nanny
who is available on Sunday, ask if she is willing to work rather
than if she attends church. Draft the basic rules of your household.
In one family children may jump all over the furniture, while in
another running is punished. Rules vary widely, and you should let a
caregiver know what they are.
If the nanny will live in your home, think through the aspects of
having a new roommate that may bother you. Set rules accordingly.
Rather than ask your nanny if she is having sex with her boyfriend,
let her know that you do not allow overnight guests. Let the
potential nanny know what kind of behavior you expect in your home
and if you do not allow alcohol. Talk with other families who have
had a live-in nanny, research possible issues and stop them before
they occur.
A Nanny's Childhood
I have been asked often what my parents do for a living. How does
that matter to my job as a nanny, now that I am an adult? Even if my
parents had not gone to college, I have now gone to graduate school.
It baffles me when a potential employer asks what kind of house I
lived in or if my parents are divorced.
Parents often want to know about a nanny, "What kind of economic
status did her parents have? What is her cultural background?" If
social graces matter, ask about those instead.
A nanny cannot change what sort of family she was born into. She
should be judged for her choices now, not those of her parents. Ask
how a nanny continues her education and how she encourages learning
in children. Ask her where she takes children during the day, and
how often she reads to them.
Many parents and agencies would like to know even more about a
nanny's childhood, "Was she abused? How did her parents discipline?"
The cycle of child abuse is a dangerous one, and too many abusive
nannies have cared for children and perpetuated the cycle.
But many nannies go through dozens of interviews per year. Answering
such a personal, intrusive question is arduous.
If a caregiver has a long, glowing career and a well-developed
childcare perspective, does her childhood really matter anymore? If
she has let you know that she strongly opposes spanking and
precisely why, do you need to know if she was abused? Should she
have to talk about it yet again?
Instead, find out the depth of a nanny's knowledge about discipline.
Has she ever hit a child? Ask what she would do if your child ran
into the road, or if your infant would not stop crying and she felt
angry. Ask about a situation from the past and how she would manage
it differently now. Ask how she would discipline a two year old for
hitting verses a ten year old. Find out how she would ideally
discipline a child if no rules were set.
Think through the responses you would like to hear. A good nanny
will let you know that she is human, but she does her best to deal
with the situation. She should have reasonable expectations of child
behavior.
I have been asked more times than I can count if I am going to have
children. This is a delicate question. Some of the best caregivers I
have known did not wish to have children of their own. And, like me,
some nannies are not capable of having children. This question can
hurt.
Instead, find out the candidate's motivation. Ask how she chose this
profession, and why she has continued. Ask what her favorite aspects
of the job are, and the most challenging. Ask what strengths and
weaknesses she has as a nanny.
A Nanny's Health
A nanny is alone with children, and her health matters for their
safety. A parent should be aware of a serious condition, such as
heart disease. Parents should know how a diabetic controls her
condition, if an individual with epilepsy can safely drive or about
life-threatening allergy. I would think a parent remiss for not
respectfully asking these questions.
But there is a big difference between asking, "Do you have any
health conditions that affect your ability to care for children?"
and "What medications do you take?" Would a parent feel comfortable
telling his employer the medicines in his cabinet? Many private
medical concerns will never affect nanny work.
Drug and alcohol abuse are serious matters. Has your nanny been in
treatment for an addiction? Substance abuse often repeats, so this
is important information to have. But you can learn a lot from a
nanny's employment history. If a nanny has been on time and had few
sick days, chances are that she will also be a consistent employee
for you.
Eating disorders can affect children. Their attitudes about food are
modeled and shaped by those around them. Find out your nanny's views
on nutrition, and what she believes in teaching children about
eating. What is a typical lunch for her to prepare? How often does
she offer vegetables? How would she help a child who was becoming
overweight?
Fitness is also important, but ask in a job-specific way. Will a
nanny be able to safely lift a 30-pound child into a crib? Ask how
much physical activity she provides each day, and ask about her
favorite outdoor activities for children. Appearances can be
deceiving. Finding out an individual's views is a better plan.
Asking if a nanny has any physical limitations that affect her
ability to care for children is one thing. "Do you have any
disabilities or congenital defects?" is another. As someone who
cares about the fair and respectful treatment of others, this
question offends me.
One agency owner has placed a nanny several times who has an arm
severed above the elbow.
"She does a great job even with infants," she said.
Attention Deficit Disorder and mental health are also key. A nanny
with untreated bipolar disorder may not provide consistent care, but
a nanny who occasionally suffers from depression and gets
appropriate help may do a terrific job. If this issue is important
to you, ask respectfully and let the nanny know why. Speak with
references in depth about the quality and consistency of childcare
the nanny provided.
The number of agency applications and families asking for HIV tests
amazes and offends me. The risk is miniscule that a child could
contract HIV from a caregiver, but the risk is great that a child
will later develop skin cancer due to inconsistent care. Yet I am
never asked if I keep children out of the midday sun or apply
sunscreen every two hours.
Personal Life
I was recently asked during a phone interview, "Why aren't you
married yet?" I diverted the conversation, but I wanted to
scream, "Because he DIED. Why does that matter?"
I was also told in an interview, "You've entered domestic service,
so you need to be honest about anything I ask." That one I laughed
at. And of course I declined to go any farther with the interview.
Should these things matter when choosing a nanny? Certainly not as
much as the care your child will be receiving. Sometimes parents are
simply curious, but assessing a nanny for childcare skills is far
more important than personal choices.
Asking the last five articles a nanny has read and how she spends
her free time can be innocuous ways to find out more about her.
Hobbies are an import clue, and a perfectly acceptable topic.
If you are concerned about the people a nanny may expose your
children to, let her know that you would like to meet any friends or
family first.
It is imperative to ask a nanny if there are any situations in her
life that may affect your children's or your family's safety. It is
a rare occurrence, but it is possible that someone may wish your
nanny harm.
An agency owner related this story: "We had a nanny placed - her
background check was perfect and she was doing a great job for the
family when her husband showed up at the house one day and beat her
up and even pulled a gun on her in front of the children. It was
horrific. If we or the parents had asked her if she had any spousal
or boyfriend problems we would have been aware of this character
(she had reported him for domestic violence previously) and probably
learned that they were going through a messy divorce and no longer
living together. Maybe she would have gotten the job and maybe the
parents would have warned her to not give their address to anyone or
to let anyone into their home. No one asked and on one knew about
him."
Reverse Questions
Encourage a potential nanny to ask questions about your family, and
be open when answering reasonable ones. The initial interview is as
much an interview for the employer as it is for the nanny. An
experienced nanny will have an idea about the kind of family that is
a good match for her. A nanny might prefer to work for a family that
does not use physical discipline, or may not be comfortable with
certain religious values.
Just as you will be putting your faith in a nanny, she is also
relying on you. A nanny has to protect herself from sexual
harassment, abuse, marital problems and families who don't pay. An
unreliable employer can damage a nanny's credit or reputation,
affecting her life for years. Even on a basic level, inconsistent
hours and last minute changes affect our personal lives,
appointments, college classes and budgets.
Be open with the nanny about any potential difficulties within your
family. A pending divorce, a move, even home renovations will
greatly affect her work life, and she deserves to know. Encourage
her to talk with any former nannies and babysitters.
There are topics to cover for the benefit of both sides. But there
is a way to do it without being unkind. With a little thought, both
parties can find out what they need to know while respecting
individual privacy.
Parents and agencies should be reminded that a nanny is a person,
not a domestic servant drafted into not having a life or feelings.
Allowing a nanny to be a professional and to display her hard-earned
knowledge is a much better use of interview time.
Raising the level of interview questions is crucial to legitimizing
the nanny profession. Keeping the good nannies and weeding out the
bad depends on better, more accurate interviews. Let's start asking
the right questions, and leave the meddling ones behind.
Karen Braschayko is a nanny and freelance writer in Ypsilanti,
Michigan. karenbraschayko@
By Karen Braschayko
You're ready for your nanny job interview. You're on time, resume
and portfolio in hand, thinking about your childcare style and
trying to feel out if this family will be a good match.
Yet, you're nervous. What will they ask this time?
Any nanny who has been to a few interviews knows that she is in for
anything. From boyfriends to STD tests to our childhoods, parents
and agencies ask nannies questions that are illegal in other realms.
Agency applications often contain similarly invasive questions. Do
you have any disabilities or congenital defects? Have these test
results filled out by your physician and returned to us with your
application. Will you submit to an HIV test? What medications do you
take? Have you ever been depressed? Have you ever been in an abusive
relationship?
Many nannies feel violated. We are neglectful child abusers, guilty
until proven innocent. These questions can put a nanny on trial for
her personal life and never allow her to display professional
knowledge.
Often, parents focus on personal issues and never reach the heart of
the matter: what will this caregiver actually do with my child all
day?
"They are too worried about whether or not I wear contacts to ask
about what I will feed their child," said a nanny in Kansas City,
Missouri.
Our profession is unlike any other. We are in someone's home, having
unsupervised contact with their children, their possessions and
their lives. Families rely on us, and a disruption in our lives
means a disruption in theirs. I absolutely want nannies screened
properly, better than we are now.
But the interview process can be degrading. I often ask myself: I
may love my job, but why do I subject myself to this? I have
multiple credentials, excellent references and 13 years of
experience with children, so why are people asking me if I have a
boyfriend?
Why are we talking about my childhood, when the real issue is what
kind of childhood do you want for your child?
With a little forethought and care, parents can find out what they
need to know, and agencies can help them find the right way to ask.
Plan First
So often I arrive at an interview and the parents have no idea where
to start. They are even unclear about what a professional nanny
does. Many parents ask invasive questions because they are new to
the process, understandably nervous and have not planned. Agencies
should guide clients to prepare.
Agencies screen nannies at different levels. Parents should find
exactly what an agency has done to select nanny candidates and what
background checks have been performed. From there, they can decide
where to focus.
Center on the aspects of having a nanny that matter most. What kind
of care do you want your child to receive? What do you want to
happen in your home each day?
Consider the qualities you would like in a nanny, and rank them.
What is your childcare style? A boisterous nanny may fit better than
a quiet one. Do you require an active nanny to swim with the
children, or a nanny with experience in music? Is a nanny a student
or a skilled caregiver? Should she spend every moment with the
children, or hang back and allow free play? Will she be a member of
the family, or would you prefer professional reserve? Would you like
a nanny with child development education, or a Montessori bias? Will
her infant care style fit with yours?
Discuss all aspects of daily care. Discipline, nutrition and
exercise are central topics. Ask how she deals with specific medical
emergencies, and if she treats a fever. If your child has a medical
condition, find out if she is knowledgeable and would follow proper
treatment. If she will be driving your children in her vehicle, ask
how she maintains it.
Will your nanny travel with you? It's not necessary to find out if
she is married if she is willing to be away from home for long
periods of time. If she is willing to commit to a one-year contract,
it's likewise not necessary to ask if she is planning to have a baby
anytime soon.
Once you have the vital topics, think of ways to ask. Are there
questions that would offend you if you were being interviewed? You
certainly need to protect your children and ask the questions that
will make you comfortable. But if you are going to ask a question
that would be illegal in a different employment situation, explain
why you would like to know and ask in a job-specific way.
Provide a statement of values for your children. Rather than asking
a nanny about her religion, tell her what religious base you provide
and ask her if she can support those beliefs. If you need a nanny
who is available on Sunday, ask if she is willing to work rather
than if she attends church. Draft the basic rules of your household.
In one family children may jump all over the furniture, while in
another running is punished. Rules vary widely, and you should let a
caregiver know what they are.
If the nanny will live in your home, think through the aspects of
having a new roommate that may bother you. Set rules accordingly.
Rather than ask your nanny if she is having sex with her boyfriend,
let her know that you do not allow overnight guests. Let the
potential nanny know what kind of behavior you expect in your home
and if you do not allow alcohol. Talk with other families who have
had a live-in nanny, research possible issues and stop them before
they occur.
A Nanny's Childhood
I have been asked often what my parents do for a living. How does
that matter to my job as a nanny, now that I am an adult? Even if my
parents had not gone to college, I have now gone to graduate school.
It baffles me when a potential employer asks what kind of house I
lived in or if my parents are divorced.
Parents often want to know about a nanny, "What kind of economic
status did her parents have? What is her cultural background?" If
social graces matter, ask about those instead.
A nanny cannot change what sort of family she was born into. She
should be judged for her choices now, not those of her parents. Ask
how a nanny continues her education and how she encourages learning
in children. Ask her where she takes children during the day, and
how often she reads to them.
Many parents and agencies would like to know even more about a
nanny's childhood, "Was she abused? How did her parents discipline?"
The cycle of child abuse is a dangerous one, and too many abusive
nannies have cared for children and perpetuated the cycle.
But many nannies go through dozens of interviews per year. Answering
such a personal, intrusive question is arduous.
If a caregiver has a long, glowing career and a well-developed
childcare perspective, does her childhood really matter anymore? If
she has let you know that she strongly opposes spanking and
precisely why, do you need to know if she was abused? Should she
have to talk about it yet again?
Instead, find out the depth of a nanny's knowledge about discipline.
Has she ever hit a child? Ask what she would do if your child ran
into the road, or if your infant would not stop crying and she felt
angry. Ask about a situation from the past and how she would manage
it differently now. Ask how she would discipline a two year old for
hitting verses a ten year old. Find out how she would ideally
discipline a child if no rules were set.
Think through the responses you would like to hear. A good nanny
will let you know that she is human, but she does her best to deal
with the situation. She should have reasonable expectations of child
behavior.
I have been asked more times than I can count if I am going to have
children. This is a delicate question. Some of the best caregivers I
have known did not wish to have children of their own. And, like me,
some nannies are not capable of having children. This question can
hurt.
Instead, find out the candidate's motivation. Ask how she chose this
profession, and why she has continued. Ask what her favorite aspects
of the job are, and the most challenging. Ask what strengths and
weaknesses she has as a nanny.
A Nanny's Health
A nanny is alone with children, and her health matters for their
safety. A parent should be aware of a serious condition, such as
heart disease. Parents should know how a diabetic controls her
condition, if an individual with epilepsy can safely drive or about
life-threatening allergy. I would think a parent remiss for not
respectfully asking these questions.
But there is a big difference between asking, "Do you have any
health conditions that affect your ability to care for children?"
and "What medications do you take?" Would a parent feel comfortable
telling his employer the medicines in his cabinet? Many private
medical concerns will never affect nanny work.
Drug and alcohol abuse are serious matters. Has your nanny been in
treatment for an addiction? Substance abuse often repeats, so this
is important information to have. But you can learn a lot from a
nanny's employment history. If a nanny has been on time and had few
sick days, chances are that she will also be a consistent employee
for you.
Eating disorders can affect children. Their attitudes about food are
modeled and shaped by those around them. Find out your nanny's views
on nutrition, and what she believes in teaching children about
eating. What is a typical lunch for her to prepare? How often does
she offer vegetables? How would she help a child who was becoming
overweight?
Fitness is also important, but ask in a job-specific way. Will a
nanny be able to safely lift a 30-pound child into a crib? Ask how
much physical activity she provides each day, and ask about her
favorite outdoor activities for children. Appearances can be
deceiving. Finding out an individual's views is a better plan.
Asking if a nanny has any physical limitations that affect her
ability to care for children is one thing. "Do you have any
disabilities or congenital defects?" is another. As someone who
cares about the fair and respectful treatment of others, this
question offends me.
One agency owner has placed a nanny several times who has an arm
severed above the elbow.
"She does a great job even with infants," she said.
Attention Deficit Disorder and mental health are also key. A nanny
with untreated bipolar disorder may not provide consistent care, but
a nanny who occasionally suffers from depression and gets
appropriate help may do a terrific job. If this issue is important
to you, ask respectfully and let the nanny know why. Speak with
references in depth about the quality and consistency of childcare
the nanny provided.
The number of agency applications and families asking for HIV tests
amazes and offends me. The risk is miniscule that a child could
contract HIV from a caregiver, but the risk is great that a child
will later develop skin cancer due to inconsistent care. Yet I am
never asked if I keep children out of the midday sun or apply
sunscreen every two hours.
Personal Life
I was recently asked during a phone interview, "Why aren't you
married yet?" I diverted the conversation, but I wanted to
scream, "Because he DIED. Why does that matter?"
I was also told in an interview, "You've entered domestic service,
so you need to be honest about anything I ask." That one I laughed
at. And of course I declined to go any farther with the interview.
Should these things matter when choosing a nanny? Certainly not as
much as the care your child will be receiving. Sometimes parents are
simply curious, but assessing a nanny for childcare skills is far
more important than personal choices.
Asking the last five articles a nanny has read and how she spends
her free time can be innocuous ways to find out more about her.
Hobbies are an import clue, and a perfectly acceptable topic.
If you are concerned about the people a nanny may expose your
children to, let her know that you would like to meet any friends or
family first.
It is imperative to ask a nanny if there are any situations in her
life that may affect your children's or your family's safety. It is
a rare occurrence, but it is possible that someone may wish your
nanny harm.
An agency owner related this story: "We had a nanny placed - her
background check was perfect and she was doing a great job for the
family when her husband showed up at the house one day and beat her
up and even pulled a gun on her in front of the children. It was
horrific. If we or the parents had asked her if she had any spousal
or boyfriend problems we would have been aware of this character
(she had reported him for domestic violence previously) and probably
learned that they were going through a messy divorce and no longer
living together. Maybe she would have gotten the job and maybe the
parents would have warned her to not give their address to anyone or
to let anyone into their home. No one asked and on one knew about
him."
Reverse Questions
Encourage a potential nanny to ask questions about your family, and
be open when answering reasonable ones. The initial interview is as
much an interview for the employer as it is for the nanny. An
experienced nanny will have an idea about the kind of family that is
a good match for her. A nanny might prefer to work for a family that
does not use physical discipline, or may not be comfortable with
certain religious values.
Just as you will be putting your faith in a nanny, she is also
relying on you. A nanny has to protect herself from sexual
harassment, abuse, marital problems and families who don't pay. An
unreliable employer can damage a nanny's credit or reputation,
affecting her life for years. Even on a basic level, inconsistent
hours and last minute changes affect our personal lives,
appointments, college classes and budgets.
Be open with the nanny about any potential difficulties within your
family. A pending divorce, a move, even home renovations will
greatly affect her work life, and she deserves to know. Encourage
her to talk with any former nannies and babysitters.
There are topics to cover for the benefit of both sides. But there
is a way to do it without being unkind. With a little thought, both
parties can find out what they need to know while respecting
individual privacy.
Parents and agencies should be reminded that a nanny is a person,
not a domestic servant drafted into not having a life or feelings.
Allowing a nanny to be a professional and to display her hard-earned
knowledge is a much better use of interview time.
Raising the level of interview questions is crucial to legitimizing
the nanny profession. Keeping the good nannies and weeding out the
bad depends on better, more accurate interviews. Let's start asking
the right questions, and leave the meddling ones behind.
Karen Braschayko is a nanny and freelance writer in Ypsilanti,
Michigan. karenbraschayko@
BMW Vs. Hyundai
 BMW vs. Hyundai By Marni Kent First, to those of you who drive a Hyundai, I am not making light or passing judgement on what type of vehicle you may drive. Good, now that you know I am by no means a automobile enthusiast, we can expound on my aforementioned comparison. Since my arrival here in the Sunshine State, I’ve had the sometimes pleasure, and sometimes pain of having to endure the arduous interview process. I know a lot of you, like me, from time to time have left these interviews with a sense of bewilderment and inexplicable disbelief. Agencies in large part have all of our best interests at heart. However, they also have a business to run with the end result being the “ bottom line “. What this means to you and me, is that while most agencies do their level best to place us with the right family, sometimes the nanny and the client’s best interest get’s overlooked in an effort to meet their economic business demands. This brings me to my automotive point of view. I, like many of you, have car shopped and purchased a variety of different vehicles over the years. Generally, I do my budget and car pricing homework before I venture out shopping. I know well in advance if I can afford that BMW or Hyundai. Additionally, I know about standard and optional equipment. That said, too many times I have interviewed with client families who want every option under the sun but are only willing to pay for the standard model. In many of these instances the agency was the primary component in this misinformation. The agency, like the initial car salesman has to sell you to the prospective client. Unfortunately, like car buying half truths and embellishment is too often the order of the day. So if I am well armed with critical information I will not find myself in the wrong dealership, right. Not so fast, frustration is only one of many emotions I feel when I get in the middle of an interview and I hear this famous phrase,“ salary is not an issue.” Whatever your feelings are when and if you hear that phrase just be sure your sitting down because in my twenty years in this business I have only once had that statement be the case. Too many times erroneous salary needs and the budget of the prospective client are like buying that BMW or Hyundai. If the agency and the nanny are conveying accurate information, either verbal or written, these time consuming mishaps won’t happen. If the client cannot afford that BMW type nanny, then don’t waste everyone’s time by sending her to a Hyundai budget family who has no hope of hiring her due to their budgetary constraints. Nanny window shopping tends to erode the clients confidence and heighten their anxiety about finding the right nanny. In closing, be passionate about what we do, but also be prepared, and always do your best to get into the right dealership. |
Surviving a Bad Reference
Surviving a Bad Reference by Glenda Propst She went on a few interviews but nothing came of any of them. Even the ones where she felt she really connected with the parents never called her back.Recently, a good friend emailed me for advice on what to do. She had decided to leave her "not so great job" and try to find a new family. She called her agency, filled out the paperwork, listed her references and waited for the phone to start to ring. Finally, one day her agency called and asked her if she knew that her former employers were giving her a bad reference. She had been with the family for 2 years, and even though things were not perfect, she could not believe the parents were giving her a bad reference. She asked me for advice, and I turned to my panel of experts, a list for parents, nannies and agencies that I moderate for Yahoogroups. Not only did I get great feedback, but I found that this is something that happens to nannies often, with and sometimes without their knowledge. Most of the parents said that if a nanny had been with a family for 2 years, and the parents had kept her employed, they often felt that was a sign that things were not as bad as they had indicated and the length of employment spoke for itself. They also said that they checked all the nanny's references before making a final decision and that often times that was the only bad reference they got. If that was the case, they would not let that keep them from hiring the nanny. They also said when they specifically asked what the problem with the nanny was, the problems were most often not related to the care they gave the children. The nannies and the parents all said that honesty is the best policy. It is never good to start a trust based relationship with a lie. If the nanny knows that the parents are giving her a bad reference, and not using the reference would create a big gap in her work history, it is best to be honest and say that this was not a good family match but that she loved the children and that was why she stayed. The nanny should always take the high road and even when confronted with what the former employer is saying, say only as much as is absolutely necessary and refrain from opening up to any potential employer about the personal lives of former employers just to expose the real picture of what went on there to justify your exit. There are other ways to get reference from previous jobs besides using the parents. If the children went to pre-school, or school, you might be able to get the teachers to write a short letter of reference. They could simply state your time of employment and their observation of your interaction with the children. Sometimes in situations like this you can use a neighbor, a soccer coach, etc. When you list your references, list your good references first with contact information. List your bad reference on the sheet and when the potential employer questions the lack of contact information you can simply say that they were upset when you left and so are not giving you the best reference. so when they contact them, if they focus on your childcare abilities, then you are sure that they will get a better reference. When a former employer is slandering you, you do of course have a choice to take legal action but if you are a nanny that has other good references, that should be your very last option. Sometimes legal action will only make a bad situation worse and even if you stop them from slandering you, you may very well put an end to your nanny career. You can never go wrong taking the high road, but refrain from trying to get "even" with your former employer because in the long run, it will only hurt you. Always project the most professional image you possibly can. |
Growing as a Professional
Growing as a Professional by: Glenda Propst
Many of our feelings of self worth come from our employers. How you see yourself has a lot to do with how others treat you. Whether you realize it or not, people do see you, and they watch you. It may be a friend of your employer who recognizes the children, or it may just be someone who knows you are a nanny. Everywhere you go -- the grocery store, the mall, the dry cleaner, the park -- you never know where you're going to meet someone whom you know or someone who knows you.
How do you feel about what you do? Do you see yourself as a professional? How do your employers treat you? How do your employers' friends and family treat you?
You may be the only nanny someone knows. You are a representative of nannies everywhere. We owe it to each other to always conduct ourselves as professionals, no matter where we are.
I know it's hard to feel professional when you have no office, wear casual clothes to work, and get paid to read books, play peek-a-boo, and go to the zoo. We have no lunch hour except naptime (which our charges eventually outgrow). There is no one in the next room to whom we can run over and tell a joke, and our real bosses are usually under the age of five! As important as our work is, it's extremely isolating and lonely at times. A nanny who is not happy is not going to do a very good job. It's important for you to take care of yourself and to make sure your needs are met.
Nannies need to have a life outside of their job. Nannies also need to find other nannies with whom they can network. No one understands your frustrations like a nanny does; not because they don't want to, but because they don't do what you do. Nannies can offer support to each other and can help each other work out solutions to problems.
We all came to this road on a different path. No matter what brought you to this profession, whether you went to nanny school or just had childcare experience, finding a job was only the beginning of being a nanny. If you want to learn and grow as a professional, you must work on your professional development.
It's important to keep abreast of what's going on in the field of child care and child development. There are several ways you can do this:
 | Read Child Care Books. |
| Take a class. Many local hospitals have First Aid and CPR classes. |
| Join NAEYC, the local affiliate offers many excellent workshops relating to different areas of child care, and community colleges offer child development classes. |
| Take an assertiveness training class |
| Join a professional organization |
| If you have access to a computer, check out the Internet. There are web pages for nannies, nanny message boards, and even nanny chat rooms. |
Communication by Glenda Propst
| Communication Article by Glenda Propst Good relationships must have a foundation. Communication is the foundation of a good employer/employee relationship. Communication begins with the first interview, and is an ongoing process between the nanny and the parents. During the interview, expectations of both parties need to be clearly defined and understood. ¨ Guidelines regarding discipline must be established and agreed upon in the beginning, and they need to be refined and adjusted as the need arises. ¨ Consistency is crucial. ¨ Children need to know they can take you at your word. ¨ Children need limits. it is important for the nanny and the parents to present a united front. This means that if one of the parents has a problem with the way the nanny is disciplining, they will discuss it in private, not in front of the children. Communication must be implemented into the daily schedule. Some ways to do this : ¨ Notes ¨ Journals, ¨ Conversation, ¨ Phone calls throughout the day. ¨ Short talks (come 10 minutes early, stay IO minutes late) ¨ Dinner away from the house without the children (this is relaxing, non-threatening, neutral territory. ¨ Family meetings Things to Remember: ¨ As nannies especially when we live in, we have a tendency to take everything personally. ¨ Try not take everything personally. Sometimes your employer is in a bad mood because he/she ( or they both) had a bad day, not because of something you did or did not do. ¨ Sometimes parents don't even realize that what they are doing is upsetting us. ¨ Don't assume your employer can read your mind. ¨ Say the words. ¨ Learn to stand up for yourself. ¨ When you finally have the opportunity to sit and talk to the parents about a concern or a problem, here are some suggestions for making the most of the opportunity. ¨ Be Prepared ¨ Learn to distinguish between what is important what is not important. ¨ Take time to prepare an agenda of what you want to talk about. ¨ Under each item make a list of the points you want to make. ¨ If you write it down, you will not forget anything. ¨ The other advantage to writing things down is that it sends a very clear message to your employers that his was important to you and you prepared for it. ¨ Try to balance the negative with the positive. ¨ Try to create win/win resolutions. ¨ If you present a problem, offer some solutions. ¨ Do not place blame. ¨ Keep in mind that if you have a concern or a problem it is not going to go away. You must learn to deal with it like an adult.( isn't that one of the very important character traits you are trying to teach your charges?) If you have a difficult time learning how to communicate effectively, take an assertiveness training class. It will be worth the time and money and it will benefit you in every area of your life for years to come. |
Be A Great Communicator
BE A GREAT COMMUNICATOR by Marni KentIt’s important to select a location you are both comfortable with. However, if at all possible try and select a neutral location. By suggesting a neutral location you are hopefully creating a level playing field that is favorable to both parties. Try to and be accommodating to your employer but not intimidated. Two words, be prepared and don’t expect or assume anything. A raise or contract renewal is not an entitlement, it is earned. To this end, have all your ducks in a row regarding why you have earned consideration for a raise or an extended contract. Know how the employer will benefit from awarding you with a form of compensation and be able to articulate this to them if needed. Put yourself in your employers shoes, try to see their perspective and they will be more receptive to seeing yours. If the employer feels as though you have provided them with viable reasons to give consideration to a raise or renewal of a contract, the entire process will be smoother and equitable for all concerned. Possible issues you can bring to the table are, Wow the last year has gone quickly, bring pictures of the kids to share, reminisce about your adventures with them and smile a lot. Bring to the table more than just a couple of options for ways to receive compensation regarding your current salary. Also be willing to offer something of yourself to the employer. It’s important to know that there are more ways to be compensated the with hourly increase i.e.; more sick days or vacation days, flex hour, vehicle allowance, one time cash bonus, just remember be flexible The most important thing to remember about this subject is be realistic, don’t over extend yourself and deliver on the agreed changes. |
Seven Steps to a Great Interview
Seven Steps to a Great Interview
by Marni Kent
· First Impressions. When you look good, you feel good. Make sure you look groomed and neat. If you were a book, would you want to read you?
· Casual but not sloppy, your clothes should be conservative, and neutral, not wild and bright. But comfortable.
· Nonverbal communication sometimes conveys a stronger message than verbal communication. When you slouch, whether sitting or standing, you’re saying volumes about you and your confidence level. Sit up straight – like your mother always told you to.
· Eye contact and smiles can indicate a confident and upbeat attitude. This is an excellent opportunity to demonstrate your social and interpersonal skills as well as your excitement about the position you are interviewing for.
· Handshakes send a perceptible message. Whether your hands are hot and sweaty, or cold and clammy.
· Your voice and the volume of your speech convey a strong impression. Speak with enthusiasm and energy. Use a firm voice to demonstrate your confidence.
· Your vocabulary reveals your communication skills and ability to interact with people.
Mastering the Art of the Interview
Mastering the Art of the Interview
The interview process is a compilation of proven established techniques
and personal style. By virtue of interchanging these methods, we arrive
at an individual skill that will enable us to achieve success with the most
difficult of interviews. Outlined below are some of the most common
and unusual interview techniques related to the family/agency interview.
Hopefully you will enhance your existing skills by employing some of
these methods.
First impressions: In all interviews, the initial impression you make on a potential
employer is the most important. While this sounds basic and simplistic, nannies
continue to misjudge the appropriate attire to wear for the family or agency interview.
Specifically, " dress for the job you want ", what does this mean?, In two words,
professional and conservative. Try to put yourself in the interviewer’s shoes, a well
groomed individual conveys preparation and confidence without having said a single
word. At the conclusion of your interview, exhibit graciousness but not desperation,
leave the interviewer with a sense that your interview was time well spent. Remember,
there is no substitute for integrity, be honest and be yourself.
Non-Verbal Communications: The proverbial handshake, will generally be your initial
interaction with the interviewer. While this gesture seems rather insignificant, it
actually will give your interviewer an indication of your readiness and deportment
before you speak your first sentence. Think about the last time you exchanged a
handshake with someone and you thought they just walked out of a meat locker, or a
sauna. Your immediate attention was probably on the condition of your hand.
I suspect it may not go over well if your interviewer is having to wipe their hands on a
towel or they are having to stick them in their pockets to warm them up. Be cognizant
of your epidermal situation.
Eye Contact: Initiating and maintaining eye contact is critical. However, try not to do
so in a starring or glaring manner, as this will only make interviewers uncomfortable.
Occasionally observe your interviewers body language, this will help you in
determining the importance of certain subjects. Most people have what gamblers refer
to as a "Tell". This non verbal gesture is unique to each individual. When people are
passionate about a specific issue, they tend to become more animated when they
express themselves about the subject. When these opportunities present themselves, it is
a rare moment for you to articulate to the interviewer about a specific skill or
experience that coincides with their views or needs.
Verbal Communication: Knowing what you want to say is critical, but the approach
and delivery for how you say it is paramount. While this sounds very elementary, it
can make or break your interview. Typically, your interviewer is going to have a pretty
good idea of your individual level of job expertise. Moreover, they likely had
conversations with your past and present references, so it’s a good bet they know more
about you than you think. It is a good practice to nonchalantly emulate your
interviewers body language and behavior. Specifically, an energetic and outgoing
interviewer probably will not think positive thoughts about a prospective nanny who
slouches in her chair and answers most of questions in a apathetic or torpid manner.
However, don’t try so hard do this and ultimately make the atmosphere uncomfortable
for both you. Rehearse what you want to say at home in front of your spouse or a
friend. By doing so will only enhance your speaking ability, especially with the tough
questions. Finally, utilize voice inflection, this allows you to emphasize points of
interest as it relates to skills, techniques and experience you possess that would be
beneficial to the potential employer.
The interview process is a compilation of proven established techniques
and personal style. By virtue of interchanging these methods, we arrive
at an individual skill that will enable us to achieve success with the most
difficult of interviews. Outlined below are some of the most common
and unusual interview techniques related to the family/agency interview.
Hopefully you will enhance your existing skills by employing some of
these methods.
First impressions: In all interviews, the initial impression you make on a potential
employer is the most important. While this sounds basic and simplistic, nannies
continue to misjudge the appropriate attire to wear for the family or agency interview.
Specifically, " dress for the job you want ", what does this mean?, In two words,
professional and conservative. Try to put yourself in the interviewer’s shoes, a well
groomed individual conveys preparation and confidence without having said a single
word. At the conclusion of your interview, exhibit graciousness but not desperation,
leave the interviewer with a sense that your interview was time well spent. Remember,
there is no substitute for integrity, be honest and be yourself.
Non-Verbal Communications: The proverbial handshake, will generally be your initial
interaction with the interviewer. While this gesture seems rather insignificant, it
actually will give your interviewer an indication of your readiness and deportment
before you speak your first sentence. Think about the last time you exchanged a
handshake with someone and you thought they just walked out of a meat locker, or a
sauna. Your immediate attention was probably on the condition of your hand.
I suspect it may not go over well if your interviewer is having to wipe their hands on a
towel or they are having to stick them in their pockets to warm them up. Be cognizant
of your epidermal situation.
Eye Contact: Initiating and maintaining eye contact is critical. However, try not to do
so in a starring or glaring manner, as this will only make interviewers uncomfortable.
Occasionally observe your interviewers body language, this will help you in
determining the importance of certain subjects. Most people have what gamblers refer
to as a "Tell". This non verbal gesture is unique to each individual. When people are
passionate about a specific issue, they tend to become more animated when they
express themselves about the subject. When these opportunities present themselves, it is
a rare moment for you to articulate to the interviewer about a specific skill or
experience that coincides with their views or needs.
Verbal Communication: Knowing what you want to say is critical, but the approach
and delivery for how you say it is paramount. While this sounds very elementary, it
can make or break your interview. Typically, your interviewer is going to have a pretty
good idea of your individual level of job expertise. Moreover, they likely had
conversations with your past and present references, so it’s a good bet they know more
about you than you think. It is a good practice to nonchalantly emulate your
interviewers body language and behavior. Specifically, an energetic and outgoing
interviewer probably will not think positive thoughts about a prospective nanny who
slouches in her chair and answers most of questions in a apathetic or torpid manner.
However, don’t try so hard do this and ultimately make the atmosphere uncomfortable
for both you. Rehearse what you want to say at home in front of your spouse or a
friend. By doing so will only enhance your speaking ability, especially with the tough
questions. Finally, utilize voice inflection, this allows you to emphasize points of
interest as it relates to skills, techniques and experience you possess that would be
beneficial to the potential employer.
Healthy Transitions
| Healthy Transitions by Marni Kent and Glenda Propst The transition period for a nanny commences at the very moment she gives her notice. Most nannies try to give a minimum of a 30 day notice as opposed to the traditional 2 week notice because of the nature of our jobs. This gives the parents time to find someone, bring them, and ideally, allow the old nanny to transition with the new nanny Sometimes when a nanny gives notice, the parents seem angry because the nanny is choosing to leave them. Often, what appears to be anger is really a feeling of rejection, frustration and despair because most parents rely on their nanny to help them balance the demands of their family life. It really does not matter how long a nanny has been with a family, or even how long she has been in the nanny profession. Any nanny who gives notice will have deal with the transition time which can be difficult to downright unbearable. When a nanny has been with a family long term, she might expect the parents reaction to be one of sadness, but many times the parents react by shutting the nanny out. They might be trying to send the nanny the message, you choose to leave us, so we will act like we don’t need you anyway. During your employment you might have heard things like: "We could not do it without you" "You are so wonderful!" "We hope you never leave". Now that you have given your notice, their words and actions may be saying "We don’t care" when deep down they are saying "What did we do to make you leave us?" .It’s going to be a long 30 days. Of course your first instinct is to walk out early, but as a professional you don’t want to do that to the children To overcome the difficulty of the situation, the nanny needs to reflect back to what is and always will be the most important aspect of any nanny position, the children. The nanny needs to remember that these last days with the children are important and that as hard as it might be at times, you have to take the high road. Saying goodbye to a family goes hand in hand with enhancing your career advancement opportunities. The end is just as important as the beginning. You will never regret taking the high road but taking the low road will always come back to haunt you. Someday you might hear through the nanny grapevine that the family has been through 4 nannies since you left. You might hear that they had to hire an extra nanny to do the work you used to do alone. Someday that family may come back to you and say "We are so sorry for the way it ended, we should have done it differently" So as you endure those last few days with those children you love so much, make a special effort to talk about your feelings, create some memories, and build your bridge. |
13 Rules of Life
Colin Powell's 13 Rules of Life from : My American Journey (Random House). 1. It ain't as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning. 2. Get mad, and then get over it. 3. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it. 4. It can be done! 5. Be careful what you choose. You may get it. 6. Don't let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision. 7. You can't make someone else's choices. You shouldn't let someone else make yours. 8. Check small things. 9. Share credit. 10. Remain calm. Be kind. 11. Have a vision. Be demanding. 12. Don't take counsel of your fears or naysayers. 13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier. |
A Nanny's Worst Nightmare
A Nanny’s Worst Nightmare
This is an appeal to all of you nannies out there: If you haven’t already, Get CPR/First Aid Certified. I’m so grateful that I did.
I do nanny-share for two infant boys.
One day in February I put the 10 wk. old in the crib with a baby monitor close by. I then went to the kitchen to feed the 6 mo. old. After awhile, I heard on the monitor, which was right next to me, that the little one was waking up. He was fussing a little, so I told the 6 mo. old “Eat up – we need to go get your buddy!”. Then the sound from the monitor changed. Nothing really alarming, just didn’t “sound right”.
I picked up the big boy, took him upstairs and sat him in his crib. I walked into the room where the little one was. He was laying on his back, his back was arched and his eyes were wide open. He was a pale color of blue. I ran and picked him up, flipped him over frantically patted him on the back. I tried to put my finger in his mouth, but his jaws were clinched shut! He was very rigid and wasn’t making a sound. I grabbed him and ran to the parents bedroom. I laid him on his side like I was taught at the infant CPR class, and called 911. I screamed into the phone “Help me! The baby is not breathing!” The woman on the other end very calmly said “Is he laying on his side?” Yes. “Open his mouth and see if there is anything in there”. Although I had tried before, this time I pried his little gums open. Saliva came out and he made a small sound. The 911 operator said “Yes! I heard that! That’s good!” After giving her the address (I can’t believe I remembered it!) she said “The ambulance is on the way.” I didn’t even hang up the phone. The baby was still very rigid and his color was terrible. I ran down the stairs, laid him on his side and waited for the ambulance, patting and rubbing his back, and whispering in his ear that it was going to be okay, even though I didn’t believe it. A few minutes later there was a knock on the door and the Sheriff burst in. He picked up the baby and called on his radio – presumably to the ambulance that was en-route. He said “The baby is still in distress” and then he ran outside with the baby to meet the ambulance that was just pulling up.
I have no idea what the Paramedics did – they wouldn’t let me look in the ambulance. But I do know that I was absolutely sure that that little baby was going to die.
They told me to meet them at the hospital. I called the baby’s mom, told her what happened in a calm voice (I didn’t know where it came from, but now I’m convinced that all nannies have one in there to use to reassure the parents even when we ourselves are terrified.). I told her which hospital to meet us at, hung up the phone and for the first time since this started burst into tears. I grabbed the other baby and headed on auto pilot to a hospital I had never been to before. I called my husband on my cell phone as I drove and between sobs I told him what happened. I said I was sure that the baby would be dead when I got to the hospital, and I was already crying for his parents who would surely be grieving by now. My husband wanted me to pull the car over, he was afraid I would get into an accident. When I told him I needed to keep driving, he told me he would meet me at the hospital (which, bless his heart, he did). I ran into the ER, carrying the 6 mo. old. I was crying so hard by then I had trouble asking where they had takn him. Finally, she pointed to the cubicle. I was terrified to walk in there. A doctor walked out, saw me approaching with my blotchy, teary face. He looked confused for a second and then smiled and put his thumb up. I walked past the curtain and was greeted by the other mom, who is a doctor (I had called her too). She hugged me and said “He’s okay!”
I had to hand her baby over to her because I honestly thought I would faint from relief. There on the examining table, with tubes coming out all over, was this tiny pink (yes, pink! My new favorite color!) sweetheart.
Everyone told me I had done everything right. This was a hard pill to swallow since at that moment I felt terribly inadequate. In fact, in my mind I was already going through all of the things that I might have done differently.
The medical people, including my doctor/mom insisted that I had handled the crises very well and that the baby was alive because of it. They put him on a monitor for 24 hours to make sure he didn’t stop breathing again. They said we may never know what caused it. He may have even spit up and aspirated. It has been almost 2 months and I still get chills thinking – what if I had been in another room and not heard the “not quite right” sound?
Ginger asked me to write about my experience to reinforce to all of you nannies, the importance of getting your CPR/First Aid certification and keeping it current. The parents of my babies said “Thank God you had that class” and I said “But I was still terrified and I still felt so helpless”. My doctor/mom convinced me with her next statement: “Think how you would have felt if this happened and you HAD NOT'’ had the training.” I can’t even imagine. I don’t know what would have happened. Would instinct alone have been enough? I didn’t have to perform CPR, but if the 911 operator had told me to, I could have, and I knew it.
With all my heart I hope that none of you ever have to go through something like this, and if you have already, my heart goes out to you.
Now take a peek at that CPR card in your wallet and see if you are coming due for re-certification. If you don’t have one, take the class and get one.
Believe it or not, you can even get your certification online.
Here are a couple of links.
CPRTodayYou can also practice your CPR here on this simulator.
CPR Simulator
Avoiding the Sophomore Slump!
AVOIDING THE SOPHOMORE SLUMP!
By Marni Kent
Ok, you have just completed your Freshman year, you survived the honeymoon period, you have relentlessly demonstrated your knowledge, skills and abilities. Your employer gave you a serious vote of confidence by offering you a raise and a contract extension.
How do you avoid complacency and overconfidence with your new found wealth and job security. Simply put, you continue to give an effort as though you were on the verge of being replaced by a new and more efficient model. As long as we all approach our employer families with the vigor and motivation, we can be sure to enjoy success and prosperity for years to come. Remember, your employer only owes you your paycheck, nothing more. It's up to us as nannies to position our selves in a manner that gives your employer a belief that you are the mechanism that makes the household machine run. Strive to be the last thing your employer has to lend thought too. Most employer families that are fortunate enough to have a professional nanny at their disposal, have extremely busy lives, and for your employer to have the luxury of not worrying about you and your performance should be the goal of every nanny. While none of us are indispensable, you should approach your job with the mission of attempting make yourself irreplaceable. I suspect that is exactly the sort of effort you put forth in your " freshman " year. Always remember, the past is actually the present. Efforts and decisions we make today, will shape your job and career of tomorrow.
Leaving a Family
Leaving a family: by Glenda Propst
These tips on how to survive leaving a family were part of the "Gentle Transitions" workshop at the 1999 NAN Conference .Thanks to all of the great survivors out there who wrote to me and shared their tips on how they got through it.
I hope this information is helpful to all nannies.
I hope this information is helpful to all nannies.
v Maintain Contact.
v If at all possible, take some time for yourself to re-energize and clear your head. Try to avoid leaving a job on Friday and starting a new one on Monday. Even if you can only manage 2 or 3 days, take a break.
v Allow yourself to grieve. You have loved and cared for these children. You have a right to be sad, you have a right to feel a great loss and you need to grieve.
If you are moving away, you can send cards, or letters, or email. Many nannies say that this is what helped them the most.
If you are moving away, you can send cards, or letters, or email. Many nannies say that this is what helped them the most.
v Keep your resume updates so that when it is time , you are ready.
v
Save some money out of your paycheck every week so that you don’t end up leaving a job with no prospects in sight and no money in the bank.
Save some money out of your paycheck every week so that you don’t end up leaving a job with no prospects in sight and no money in the bank.
v Take lots of pictures so that you will always be able to go back and look at them.
v Make sure the children understand that it is not their fault that this is happening.
v It is not their parents fault either, it is just something that happened.
v Make sure that they understand that you will still love them and that they will be in your heart and you will be in theirs always.
v Have your picture taken together so they will have a visual memory of you with them.
v Keep one for yourself.
v Talk about the fun times you have had with them.
v Try to focus on the positive even the last few days.
v Make a memory book with them or for them (Make one for yourself too)
v Have a special song that they can sing when they miss you, and tell them when they sing it, know that you will be thinking of them too. (You could also do this with a book)
v Keep in touch with them. In the beginning this is crucial for all of you. As time goes by, it will get easier.
v Help them set up email accounts.
v Remember that the love you gave to these children is something no one else could have ever given them, and no one else can take away.
v Remember that a good nanny always works herself out of a job.
v Remember that these are not your children, and eventually you will have to leave.
v Teach them that you have come to do a job, and your job is to love them and care for them and teach them to be independent.
v Help them to understand that you will not be there forever but you will always be in their lives and you will always love them.
v Remember that time is a great healer.
v Remember that as nannies our job is to help give them roots, and those roots will always be there.
v Remember that you are a better person for loving them, as hard as it is to let them go.
v Keep your correspondence and actions with your employers as professional as possible up to the last day of employment. It is tempting to reciprocate "ugliness" or "rudeness" with the same behavior, but do not allow yourself to do that.
v Maintain your professionalism.
v Give your employers as much notice as possible in order to help them find another nanny.
v You could also provide them with lists from local sources and names of several people that have expressed an interest in the position.
v If you will be in the same area, make friends with the new nanny. If you like and respect the person who comes after you, it will help you to know that those children are in good loving hands.
v Remember that recovery from grief and loss is a zigzag. You will have good days and bad days especially in the beginning.
v Let go of your pain and anger.
v Keep a journal
v Remember that love looks forward.
v Believe that what happens is what is meant to be, and there is another wonderful family out there just waiting for you to come and be a part of their lives too.
v When you start to interview again, don’t try to compare one family to another family. There is no way to measure one family against another.
v Don’t hold back on your love. As painful as the end can be, remember what you learned from these children and how much you gained from the time you spent with them.
v "The roots of love sink down and deep and strike out far, and they are arteries that feed our lives, so we must see that they get the water and sun they need so they can nourish us. And when you put something good into the world, something good comes back to you (Merle Shain)
v I would like to leave you with one final thought from the movie “Hope Floats”
Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad. The best part is in the middle and hope floats. You just have to wait for it to rise.
Dream Job
By Marni Kent
Professional Nanny
Dream Job
Professional Nanny
Dream Job
In December of 2006, I accepted what I thought to be the ultimate position, to the pinnacle of my career as a nanny. I thought this was a family of values, morales, and integrity, only to discover it was the most dysfunctional high profile family I have encountered in my career.
Part of the thinking was manifested by myself, and falsehoods that were stated by the employer. The lesson to be learned here is to do the best work you can, also, always exceed not only your employers expectations but your own.
While it's very nice to hear an employer express their long term commitment to you, you should always remain cautious to the point of working like you are not going to be there the next day. From time to time, we want to believe our employer has our best interest at heart, and as a result of this belief we lose perspective of how empty those words can be a lot of the time.
It becomes a tough pill to swallow when though no fault of your own, your employer has a knee jerk reaction to a negative family event that costs you your job!
My point in sharing this with you is that sometimes we become so immersed in the family circle that we forget we are an employee only, and still an outsider looking in. To this end never forget you are an advocate for the children, and not a referee to the parents.
So stay focused, determined, keep doing what you love most in your profession.
Quotes
These quotes were adapted by
Sarah from BC
Nannies should be honored for the lives left in their hands...
We need to give them credit for their 'footprints' in the sand.
Nannies are like heroes, for the difference that they make...
For investing more than hours, for giving more than they take.
A Nanny's job is priceless, such precious minds to reach...
A job done out of compassion and love for the ones they teach.
When a nanny values children, it shows in their attitude....
There's a sense of true compassion, in what they say and do.
What makes a nanny special, is the content of the heart...
It starts with a love of children, what a beautiful way to start.
A Nanny has a mission to make a difference in the world...
Instilling values in our children, every boy and every girl.
A Nanny looks at the face of innocence and light...
Give them strength and wisdom, to teach our children right.
A Nanny is an angel, who can touch a child's heart...
And make them feel their value to give them a wonderful start.
A Nanny shapes our children, in ways we will never know...
They challenge and inspire them and prepare them as they grow.
A Nanny puts no boundaries, when it comes to our children's minds...
The sky is surely the limit, imaginations an endless climb.
A Nanny serves with wisdom and helps children shine...
She teaches them to keep searching for the goals they hope to find.
A Nanny earns a child's respect by understanding what they say...
By listening to their problems, and being mindful of them every day.
Children, honor your nanny, and respect the work they do...
They aren't in it for the money, they are there for the love of you.
Most nannies have a story, about an extra ordinary child...
Each one holds special memories that makes their job worthwhile.
It takes grace to be a nanny with a heart for every child...
Knowing when to discipline and when to comfort with a smile.
The smartest kind of nanny, is the kind that truly knows...
Its not the clothes your wearing, its your attitude that shows.
What a difference for our children, when a nanny really cares...
A touch of understanding, can take them anywhere.
Nannies come and nannies go, but are never far away...
They leave a lasting impression, its their attitudes that stay.
The value of a nanny, is more than words can say...
They live to make a difference, they strive for a better day.
What makes a nanny special, is the content of the heart...
It starts with a love of children, what a beautiful way to start.
Thank you to our nanny, who gives her life each day...
In service to our children, to show them a better way.
Bless this special nanny,
Give her grace to see her through....
Bless the children she is teaching
And let love shine upon them, too.
FROM CHILD
Bless my nanny, who speaks the words of truth to me...
Let my nanny be an inspiration as I process and receive.
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