Glenda's Story

Glenda

My name is Glenda  and I wanted to share with you  today about why I am proud to be a professional nanny

First I would like to tell you a little bit about myself, so that you will understand the road I took to get to this point in my life.

I have always loved children. I can remember my first baby sitting job when I was 10 years. I offered to sit in the backyard in the wading pool with her 2 year old,  for .25 an hour. She was at home but since she had 3 other children, she welcomed a break. Later on, when I was 12, I babysat most of my summers. It was all I ever really wanted to do, and it was something that I was good at, and I enjoyed it.

I babysat all through High School and had quite a line up of families that I worked for. I made .50 an hour and back then I guess that was a lot of money. Mostly I babysat for families in the neighborhood or in my church.

I knew that no matter what I did in my life, it would involve working with children.

When I finished junior college, my church was getting ready to open a Child Care Center . This was 1975 and the need for child care was climbing.

I was appointed the Asst. Director of the Child Care Center , and then a year later, I was named Director when the Director decided to stay home after maternity leave. Child Care was very different back then. First of all, it was in a small town, and you knew everyone who brought their child there.You also knew their brothers and sisters and who they married, where they lived, and who their grandparents were.

The center opened with 12 children and I stayed there for 9 years. During the first 3 years we added 6 full time staff members. The thing that made our center unique was that we kept our original staff during the 9 years I was there, and added on more full time staff and part time workers. I liked my job, but I was almost 30 years old and the winds of change were blowing.

I cried every night the 2 weeks before I turned 30 years old.

I cried because I did not want to be 30.

I cried because I thought my life would be downhill from there.

And I cried because even though I loved my job, I lived in a small town, and there was no room for advancement.

There are times in our lives when we come to a crossroads, and we have to make a decision, I decided to do what we all do, when we want to change the course of our life

I went on a diet, colored my hair,  and bought new nail polish. Unfortunately, this time, it was not enough. I knew that it was time to make a big change in my life and I was not sure what that change was going to be.

One Sunday afternoon, I was reading the paper and an article in Martha Carr’s column caught my eye. It was an Open House for the second round of the Child Day Care Associations Nanny Training Program. In the time that it took me to read the words, I knew in my heart what I was going to do.

I took the paper out to my parents and talked to my dad about it. He was not as excited as I was. He had questions. Questions, like what about insurance and what about benefits? And what about retirement? He also felt like I did not need to go to school, because of my background and my experience. I listened to him half heartedly because I knew already that this was what I was going to do. I would call and ask the questions he wanted answers to but some things, you know in your heart, and I knew in my heart that this was the next chapter in my life.

Suddenly, it did not matter to me that I would have to quit my job to do it, it did not matter to me that I would have work part time to pay my bills and my rent. It did not matter to me that I would have to drive on the highway in the city even though I had never done it before. The only thing that mattered to me, was that I was going to Nanny School , and I was going to be a Professional Nanny.

 Thinking about being a nanny was easy, but as time went on, I began to realize that not everyone had the same understanding of a nanny’s role in the family. I began to realize that not everyone thought the fact that I was a nanny, was such a great thing.

People began to make comments like, “ I bet that baby thinks your it’s mother”

Oh, I hear you babysit now!

 And so…as I began to dodge the bullets on the battleground of the mommy wars, I began to have a deep sense of injustice, and a seething anger, that I constantly had to defend and explain what I did, and why.

I also resented having to defend my employers especially the mother, for choosing to have a career and children.

One night, a friend of mine were out with some other friends , and a woman came over and sat down, uninvited, and started to ask us questions.Questions like: Where do you work? Who do you work for? Where is that? Etc , etc My friend Katie and I were trying really hard to be evasive because we did not want to go through the whole process of “We are professional nannies” Finally the woman just kept asking and prodding and we said “Well, actually we are professional nannies” The woman reacted very badly “ Oh my gosh, how can you stand that!, I would just go crazy if that was me, and on and on and on, until I could feel the built up anger rising out of my control.

Katie got me away from her before I lost it, but that night for me was a turning point. I decided that instead of going around being angry all the time about the injustice, and the lack of respect that nannies often get, I would channel my energy into educating the public about the nanny profession.

Shortly after that, my employer came back from California with an article about a woman who was going to be starting an organization called the International Nanny Association. She told me that I should call her, and find out more.

That summer I went to my first INA conference with 4 of my St. Louis Nanny friends. This was a group that was just starting and the next year I was asked to serve on their Board of Directors. I served on their Board of Directors for 5 years, was also a Vice President, and was chosen their Second International Nanny Association’s Nanny of the Year in 1991.

I made many friends through my work in INA and in 1992, along with Harriette Grant who has been in this profession for 40 years this year,  and Eva Harkness, who is now Dr. Eva Harkness, a nanny for 15 years who also taught in Community College Nanny Program founded the National Association of Nannies. We started NAN because we wanted an organization that would reach out and meet nannies where they were, and offer them support, educational opportunities and the benefit of mentoring from nannies who had been in the field for many years.

We offered a newsletter, that was done by nannies, and we held an annual conference. Through my work in NAN, I have met many nannies across the country, but another turning point for my professional life, came in 1997 when my husband and I bought our first computer and I was mesmerized by all the nannies online and all of the information online for nannies.

The internet offered an opportunity for me to network with nannies all over the world.

I was a member of the first online mailing list for nannies, I started a Chat room for nannies on AOL, and serve as a  moderator for  a wonderful  group online called Parents with Nannies. This is a list of nannies, parents, and agencies who work together, give advice information and support. The parents can talk about the problems they have with their nanny and the nannies can offer suggestions and advice. Needless to say we have had some pretty heated discussions but it has been a wonderful chance to see the parents side of having a nanny, without being personally effected by it.

I tell you this because by channeling my anger into something positive, it has helped me to be able to grow as a professional.

In the last 18 years I have been with 2 families. They were both very different, but I learned a lot from both of them. I am still very close to my first family and when I got married  7 years ago,( a completely other wonderful chapter of my life) all of my charges past and present were in my wedding. I have always made sure that my employers knew about and understood my interest in the nanny profession on a national level, and make it very clear that the last weekend in September is the NAN Conference, and I need to have that time off.

I have found that by sharing my NAN newsletters with them, it helps them to understand how serious my profession is to me and how deep my commitment is. This also helps them to view me as , and respect me as a professional.

At that turning point in my life I came to the realization that some people get it, and some people don’t.

Some people will understand it if you explain it to them, and some people

Will never understand because they don’t want to.

*I am the one who has to be a peace with what I do, and I am proud to be a nanny.

*I am proud to be a nanny because I know that the children I care for need me, and I know that I need them.

*I know that for every thing I have taught a child, a child has taught me something in return.

*  I believe that as nannies we care for the future and there can be no other job more important than this.

Marni's Story

Marni's Story
I suppose everyone has their own ideas on what kind of person becomes a nanny or even better, what kind of person should become a nanny. I guess it is a good thing I didn’t know all those theories years ago or I would have been discouraged in becoming a nanny. Agencies, when interviewing nannies, want to know about your family background--was it happy, what kind of role models we had, etc. It goes along with the theory that a well-adjusted childhood with strong parental role models is preferred for those going into childcare. I suppose that is true, but there is something about having negative role models that tell you everything not to do! It makes you more sensitive to the simple things that can hurt a child.
The best way I can honestly describe the make up of my family growing up is to use the modern term dysfunctional. For a long time I was in danger of being dysfunctional too. I was emotionally and verbally frozen. I did not know what sitting down to a family dinner meant, have a parent hug me, ask how my day went or even that they were proud of me. I was told everyday of my life I would not amount to anything—so why even try? However, they did teach me about hard work. In junior high I worked in the cafeteria so I could have a hot lunch each day and during the summers I picked strawberries in the field and if I was lucky, made $30 a day. It did not take away my home chores which included shoveling out horse manure for 8 hours every Sunday. As I look back, I can say everything I went through helped to develop strong work ethics.
In high school I was in a class of 24 and my favorite class, the one that gave me joy, was my Child Development class. My insightful teacher suggested I go and volunteer at our local grade school. You might say it was there my true training as a nanny began.
I had no idea what to do after graduation. My hometown of Athena, Oregon, population 400, didn’t seem to be a well of opportunity. After graduation I did every odd job I could find from pet sitting, fast food, and driving a Pea and Wheat combines during harvest. The one thing I discovered about myself during this time was what I did not want to do. I didn’t want to be a farmer or a farmer’s wife. I dreamed instead of being able to leave and find a place where I could finally discover my potential. Despite being told I was nothing, I still had dreams.
The one job that I would do from time to time that I enjoyed the most was traveling with Rodeo families and their children. Now days they would call that being a travel nanny! It may have been those experiences that caused me to take a double take on an ad in the local paper. It was an advertisement for a nanny. I applied and the next thing I knew I was on my way to Colorado. Even with my year of travel nanny experience, my first official nanny job paid only $500 a month. I watched 4 children under the age of 8. I was also expected to do the cleaning and cooking. To compound matters, my employer was at times two months behind in paying me. There were no taxes taken out and I was too naive to know the importance of payroll taxes. I knew nothing about having a nanny contract or how to effectively communicate to her my needs or feelings. My small storage of self-esteem was quickly dwindling and finally I got the courage to leave. I hadn’t been paid for two months and needed a paycheck quickly. At this point I did not know that the job conditions were the exception—not the norm. But the job had taught me that I loved working with kids; they were my only bonus. I had so much love stored inside of me and found that children were eager to receive it.
I was truly blessed with my next family. The family gave me a paycheck before I even started. It was a live in position caring for two small boys 4 and 2. For the first time, I had a steady paycheck and was slowly learning to give and receive love. My two precious boys taught me the joy of saying I love you and gave me wonderful big sloppy hugs. I learned the true art of patience and discipline with love. I began to hunger for more knowledge because I was determined to be the best nanny I could be. I began to seek out educational childcare material and nanny resources. I found other nannies to talk with for support and knowledge and arranged mutual play dates for our charges. I wanted to be a positive role model as I realized how important I was to these children. I wanted to be a part of molding these wonderful boys into decent and caring souls. I sought out ways to provide a value system instilled with personal discipline.
Most of all, I learned the joy of being totally silly. Whether it was singing at the top of our lungs in the car, studying the animals in the zoo or trips to the Natural History Museum, I wanted life to be fun for them. I studied how they played, what made them laugh or marveled at how they wanted the same story read over and over! I often felt they give me my bachelor degree in childcare!
I realized early in working with this family the importance of liking yourself. Trouble was I didn’t like myself too much. I was up to 182 lbs.; I had buckteeth and a unibrow. I knew it was up to me to change me. How could I teach children to be brave and disciplined if I wasn’t? So I found a healthy way to lose weight, began to exercise and put myself in braces for 3 ½ years. I liked the cosmetic changes and it did make me feel better about the outside me. I also began self-help programs to work on raising my own self-esteem. Slowly I was learning the power of love and found graceful healing through playing with my children. Laughter is wonderful medicine for the soul. There’s no greater joy than waking up and realizing you love what you do and you are very very good at it! I honed my skills by working closely in conjunction with the parents to ensure the safety and well being of their children. I learned effective communication skills and became adept at working with parents’ preferred discipline styles. There was personal satisfaction working one on one relationship with the children and their parents.
The hardest part of my job is saying goodbye and it’s something we usually do when the children start school full time, a parent decides to stay home or an economic setback makes the decision to let the nanny go. It gets complicated when you love the parent and children. However, this job had helped me develop completely as a person. I was now slim and had gotten the confidence up to join a line dancing class. Eventually I even won a few trophies. I realized the time had come to try and balance my nanny life with a personal life. Living in the tiny town 40 miles away from Denver, there wasn’t much opportunity. So gathering up my courage and tears, I left to take that next step in life’s adventures. It never gets easy to say good bye but I learned how to do it graciously. I’ll probably always struggle with telling children good bye even when I know it is time to go. Children will always insist on growing up and not needing a nanny!
I have also had to learn that there are some jobs where no matter how hard you try, communication with parents just doesn’t happen. It’s their way and that’s it. They allow you no input and the employer seeks to control your every move including your personal life. Often your charges, which are seldom the problem, adore you to the point they want to be with you all the time. Without support from the parents, you find you have no off time.
Early in my nanny career I found out there were many ways to calculate your financial worth. I remember one job that had me really excited at first. I was going to be doubling my salary! They gave huge social parties with famous and other wealthy people. But soon I realized that taking care of 6 kids, helping with homework, social event planning, working with gardeners, vendors and house hold staff, that it wasn’t just my salary that got doubled as I was working 70 hours a week too! Once again, I realized I could moan or decide how to use this experience to learn. I quickly learned how to use my God given talents of thinking ahead, prioritizing jobs and finally, how to effectively communicate with demanding employers. I look back and wonder how and why I put up with employers that told me how to dress and even what brands to buy! There were so many things to learn and I often found that failure was associated with lack of knowledge on my part. I didn’t understand about asking for accountability concerning payroll taxes and found myself with a $2000 IRS bill when my employers failed to pay the taxes they originally said they were deducting for me. I ended up taking a second job to pay the taxes.
I was young and I had a lot to learn about contracts that put everyone’s expectations on the table before you started the job. But still, I loved the part about working with children. I found this unique gift was inside of me. I could bring a smile to a crying child, find the missing homework of another and still keep the house in order. This exhilaration I found working with children was what kept me working as a nanny in difficult times.
In 1992 my life changed forever. The confidence and secure love I had grown into through the years gave me the courage to love a man called David and his 2-½ year old son. I did what any sensible person would do-- I married him.
I know that people see me as this very upbeat happy nanny and think being a nanny means never getting discouraged. But in 1993 that is exactly what happened. My job had the stress of working with parents that were divorcing. I was also dealing with the devastating loss of a sister that year from Cancer. Then one of my favorite former charges who was only 8 died on the operating table while going for simple surgery to have tubes removed from his ears. I wondered how I could continue being a nanny when I was consumed with grief.
My husband was my sounding board and we had many lengthy discussions about the long hours, the daily struggles I was experiencing and I had to really reevaluate what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. My husband reminded me of the most important element to consider. That element was my passion as an advocate for children. I knew that I possessed a working knowledge of understanding individual and family dynamics in helping everyone to reach the goals of the family. I had the skills needed now to effectively communicate my needs as well. At the end, I could only reach one conclusion; this was the career and profession for me. What I had discovered is that the career picks the person, not the other way around.
I’ve never regretted that decision. Despite the image some people have of nannies—that they are just glorified babysitters—I know better. So I’ve developed some new passions. I joined INA because I wanted to have a voice in my profession and meet my peers. On a local level, I started to mentor other nannies. I felt that I had spent years in learning how to be a great nanny and I wanted to make the road a little easier for the next generation of nannies.
What are some of the first things I try to instill as a mentor? I guess if I were to list them, they would include:

	Get into a social circle of Nannies
	Encourage them to have passion in their profession
	Teach them good communicate skills
	How to set up talks with employers to avoid problems down the road
	Good negotiating skills where everyone wins

I tell them, “Be proud to be a nanny and work to be the best you can each day. Remember, it’s a child’s life and we get to play in it every day!”
I would encourage them to read Like a Second Mother, by Barbara Blouin. It talks about the nanny situation of past years and that are still real in our society today. I highly recommend this book for any Nanny's library.
There are wonderful perks in being a nanny. Sometimes it is the simple things that set my heart aglow. I still treasure the cards from employers who wrote, “thank you for choosing us” when I accepted the job.
When ABC Nannies out of Denver, nominated me for Nanny of the Year, I had to stop and think why I could possibly be so special? I didn’t think that working 50 hours a week in my nanny job and then doing weekend jobs for families that just needed a dinner out without the troops was that unusual. I knew my nickname was Mary Poppins and yes, I really do carry a carpetbag to work. It holds the usual Bob the Builder band aids that seems to heal the hurt along with the scratch, crafts and other items that help to entertain. I am constantly changing the contents till even the parents want to see what is in my bag today! And my mentoring and work with other nannies—well—that was something that just came natural to me. Yet, as I reflected on my road to becoming a nanny, I thought, maybe it was all about passion for children and THAT I knew, I qualified for in abundance.
A nanny can be nominated for INA’s Nanny of the year by another nanny, they can nominate themselves, employers or Agencies can nominate you or any one who has knowledge of a superb nanny can render a nomination. To start the process of nomination you must be:

	Current member for one year
	Currently employed as a nanny
	5 years nanny experience
	Be able to attend the conference that year and the next

Then comes the hard work of submitting letters of employers, references—by the time I had the packet together it was almost an inch in height! It was a joy to read what the kids had to say about me and I guess I treasure those remarks the most. It was also awesome to read about the other nannies that had been nominated. Each candidate's qualifications were so impressive.
I had arranged to attend the INA conference in Florida and had roommates all set up when I got the call I had won!
The day I found out I had won The International Nanny Association Nanny Of The Year, I cried with joy. I was scared, and happy and overwhelmed. Later that evening I got to speak to Carol Anderson who was the INA’s NOTY 2001. It was an honor for me to speak to her. I will always remember her words on my phone message and my lengthy conversation with her. I hope to make the next NOTY 2003-04 feel just as special.
My hotel room would be paid for and I would be presented the award at the last dinner. I think I had a hard time taking it all in and realizing it was real—someone had recognized the importance of what I do.
Being NOTY is exhilarating; it’s the best word to describe being selected as Nanny Of The Year. I believe that I won this national award because I am an unwavering, dedicated and committed nanny representing the childcare profession. It affords me the opportunity to make a positive influential impression on existing and prospective nannies. My true passion is working to heighten awareness, commitment and respect for our profession. I think regulating our profession would be a great move. If there were mandatory minimums maybe the incidents of “Nanny gate” and Louise Woodward would be far less. There have been so many things in my life and career as a nanny that I cherished.
Some have made me cry with joy and pride, and some have reminded me it is time to move towards another journey.
Where do I go from here? I want to truly advocate for changes I think we need in our profession. I believe that being selected as Nanny Of The Year will afford the opportunity of not only sharing my professional experiences with my industry peers, but also, allow me to expound on my passion and dedication to this fulfilling career. Moreover it will permit me to have a voice in representing an industry that is developing our future.
The industry as a whole is lacking in providing a defined long-term future with respect to retirement and upward mobility opportunities. Specifically the stigma of “a babysitter” that is sometimes associated with the nanny profession can diminish the aforementioned opportunities due to misinformation by employers and the industry alike. While the nanny profession has made significant progress in terms of salary, if health care compensation continues to grow at its current rate, nannies from all levels could experience financial hardship and career instability.
While some may think Mary Poppins only existed in books, I’d like to think there is a little bit of magic in all nannies. Like Mary Poppins, we examine the children’s needs first and do what it takes to nurture them and their parents. Mary Poppins knew that she was there to highlight the family, not take the place of it. Like Mary Poppins, I store away my favorite things like homework projects, field trips with my charges and classmates singing in the car. I enjoy cooking out of the INA cookbook with a group of friends. I still enjoy the sound of laughter or kissing the booboo. Despite the warnings of experts, I treasure the simplicity of rocking a sleeping child. And who doesn’t love reading with a child or two in your lap? I hope I never get too old to make silly faces and silly sounds as we read their favorite story over and over. I still dream of making a difference in a child’s life. So when kids yell, "Mary Poppins is back", I just smile and open up my carpetbag…..

Better Nanny Interviews By Karen Braschayko

Better Nanny Interviews
By Karen Braschayko

You're ready for your nanny job interview. You're on time, resume
and portfolio in hand, thinking about your childcare style and
trying to feel out if this family will be a good match.

Yet, you're nervous. What will they ask this time?

Any nanny who has been to a few interviews knows that she is in for
anything. From boyfriends to STD tests to our childhoods, parents
and agencies ask nannies questions that are illegal in other realms.

Agency applications often contain similarly invasive questions. Do
you have any disabilities or congenital defects? Have these test
results filled out by your physician and returned to us with your
application. Will you submit to an HIV test? What medications do you
take? Have you ever been depressed? Have you ever been in an abusive
relationship?

Many nannies feel violated. We are neglectful child abusers, guilty
until proven innocent. These questions can put a nanny on trial for
her personal life and never allow her to display professional
knowledge.

Often, parents focus on personal issues and never reach the heart of
the matter: what will this caregiver actually do with my child all
day?

"They are too worried about whether or not I wear contacts to ask
about what I will feed their child," said a nanny in Kansas City,
Missouri.

Our profession is unlike any other. We are in someone's home, having
unsupervised contact with their children, their possessions and
their lives. Families rely on us, and a disruption in our lives
means a disruption in theirs. I absolutely want nannies screened
properly, better than we are now.

But the interview process can be degrading. I often ask myself: I
may love my job, but why do I subject myself to this? I have
multiple credentials, excellent references and 13 years of
experience with children, so why are people asking me if I have a
boyfriend?

Why are we talking about my childhood, when the real issue is what
kind of childhood do you want for your child?

With a little forethought and care, parents can find out what they
need to know, and agencies can help them find the right way to ask.

Plan First
So often I arrive at an interview and the parents have no idea where
to start. They are even unclear about what a professional nanny
does. Many parents ask invasive questions because they are new to
the process, understandably nervous and have not planned. Agencies
should guide clients to prepare.

Agencies screen nannies at different levels. Parents should find
exactly what an agency has done to select nanny candidates and what
background checks have been performed. From there, they can decide
where to focus.

Center on the aspects of having a nanny that matter most. What kind
of care do you want your child to receive? What do you want to
happen in your home each day?

Consider the qualities you would like in a nanny, and rank them.
What is your childcare style? A boisterous nanny may fit better than
a quiet one. Do you require an active nanny to swim with the
children, or a nanny with experience in music? Is a nanny a student
or a skilled caregiver? Should she spend every moment with the
children, or hang back and allow free play? Will she be a member of
the family, or would you prefer professional reserve? Would you like
a nanny with child development education, or a Montessori bias? Will
her infant care style fit with yours?

Discuss all aspects of daily care. Discipline, nutrition and
exercise are central topics. Ask how she deals with specific medical
emergencies, and if she treats a fever. If your child has a medical
condition, find out if she is knowledgeable and would follow proper
treatment. If she will be driving your children in her vehicle, ask
how she maintains it.

Will your nanny travel with you? It's not necessary to find out if
she is married if she is willing to be away from home for long
periods of time. If she is willing to commit to a one-year contract,
it's likewise not necessary to ask if she is planning to have a baby
anytime soon.

Once you have the vital topics, think of ways to ask. Are there
questions that would offend you if you were being interviewed? You
certainly need to protect your children and ask the questions that
will make you comfortable. But if you are going to ask a question
that would be illegal in a different employment situation, explain
why you would like to know and ask in a job-specific way.

Provide a statement of values for your children. Rather than asking
a nanny about her religion, tell her what religious base you provide
and ask her if she can support those beliefs. If you need a nanny
who is available on Sunday, ask if she is willing to work rather
than if she attends church. Draft the basic rules of your household.
In one family children may jump all over the furniture, while in
another running is punished. Rules vary widely, and you should let a
caregiver know what they are.

If the nanny will live in your home, think through the aspects of
having a new roommate that may bother you. Set rules accordingly.
Rather than ask your nanny if she is having sex with her boyfriend,
let her know that you do not allow overnight guests. Let the
potential nanny know what kind of behavior you expect in your home
and if you do not allow alcohol. Talk with other families who have
had a live-in nanny, research possible issues and stop them before
they occur.

A Nanny's Childhood
I have been asked often what my parents do for a living. How does
that matter to my job as a nanny, now that I am an adult? Even if my
parents had not gone to college, I have now gone to graduate school.
It baffles me when a potential employer asks what kind of house I
lived in or if my parents are divorced.

Parents often want to know about a nanny, "What kind of economic
status did her parents have? What is her cultural background?" If
social graces matter, ask about those instead.

A nanny cannot change what sort of family she was born into. She
should be judged for her choices now, not those of her parents. Ask
how a nanny continues her education and how she encourages learning
in children. Ask her where she takes children during the day, and
how often she reads to them.

Many parents and agencies would like to know even more about a
nanny's childhood, "Was she abused? How did her parents discipline?"
The cycle of child abuse is a dangerous one, and too many abusive
nannies have cared for children and perpetuated the cycle.

But many nannies go through dozens of interviews per year. Answering
such a personal, intrusive question is arduous.

If a caregiver has a long, glowing career and a well-developed
childcare perspective, does her childhood really matter anymore? If
she has let you know that she strongly opposes spanking and
precisely why, do you need to know if she was abused? Should she
have to talk about it yet again?

Instead, find out the depth of a nanny's knowledge about discipline.
Has she ever hit a child? Ask what she would do if your child ran
into the road, or if your infant would not stop crying and she felt
angry. Ask about a situation from the past and how she would manage
it differently now. Ask how she would discipline a two year old for
hitting verses a ten year old. Find out how she would ideally
discipline a child if no rules were set.

Think through the responses you would like to hear. A good nanny
will let you know that she is human, but she does her best to deal
with the situation. She should have reasonable expectations of child
behavior.

I have been asked more times than I can count if I am going to have
children. This is a delicate question. Some of the best caregivers I
have known did not wish to have children of their own. And, like me,
some nannies are not capable of having children. This question can
hurt.

Instead, find out the candidate's motivation. Ask how she chose this
profession, and why she has continued. Ask what her favorite aspects
of the job are, and the most challenging. Ask what strengths and
weaknesses she has as a nanny.

A Nanny's Health
A nanny is alone with children, and her health matters for their
safety. A parent should be aware of a serious condition, such as
heart disease. Parents should know how a diabetic controls her
condition, if an individual with epilepsy can safely drive or about
life-threatening allergy. I would think a parent remiss for not
respectfully asking these questions.

But there is a big difference between asking, "Do you have any
health conditions that affect your ability to care for children?"
and "What medications do you take?" Would a parent feel comfortable
telling his employer the medicines in his cabinet? Many private
medical concerns will never affect nanny work.

Drug and alcohol abuse are serious matters. Has your nanny been in
treatment for an addiction? Substance abuse often repeats, so this
is important information to have. But you can learn a lot from a
nanny's employment history. If a nanny has been on time and had few
sick days, chances are that she will also be a consistent employee
for you.

Eating disorders can affect children. Their attitudes about food are
modeled and shaped by those around them. Find out your nanny's views
on nutrition, and what she believes in teaching children about
eating. What is a typical lunch for her to prepare? How often does
she offer vegetables? How would she help a child who was becoming
overweight?

Fitness is also important, but ask in a job-specific way. Will a
nanny be able to safely lift a 30-pound child into a crib? Ask how
much physical activity she provides each day, and ask about her
favorite outdoor activities for children. Appearances can be
deceiving. Finding out an individual's views is a better plan.

Asking if a nanny has any physical limitations that affect her
ability to care for children is one thing. "Do you have any
disabilities or congenital defects?" is another. As someone who
cares about the fair and respectful treatment of others, this
question offends me.

One agency owner has placed a nanny several times who has an arm
severed above the elbow.

"She does a great job even with infants," she said.

Attention Deficit Disorder and mental health are also key. A nanny
with untreated bipolar disorder may not provide consistent care, but
a nanny who occasionally suffers from depression and gets
appropriate help may do a terrific job. If this issue is important
to you, ask respectfully and let the nanny know why. Speak with
references in depth about the quality and consistency of childcare
the nanny provided.

The number of agency applications and families asking for HIV tests
amazes and offends me. The risk is miniscule that a child could
contract HIV from a caregiver, but the risk is great that a child
will later develop skin cancer due to inconsistent care. Yet I am
never asked if I keep children out of the midday sun or apply
sunscreen every two hours.

Personal Life
I was recently asked during a phone interview, "Why aren't you
married yet?" I diverted the conversation, but I wanted to
scream, "Because he DIED. Why does that matter?"

I was also told in an interview, "You've entered domestic service,
so you need to be honest about anything I ask." That one I laughed
at. And of course I declined to go any farther with the interview.

Should these things matter when choosing a nanny? Certainly not as
much as the care your child will be receiving. Sometimes parents are
simply curious, but assessing a nanny for childcare skills is far
more important than personal choices.

Asking the last five articles a nanny has read and how she spends
her free time can be innocuous ways to find out more about her.
Hobbies are an import clue, and a perfectly acceptable topic.

If you are concerned about the people a nanny may expose your
children to, let her know that you would like to meet any friends or
family first.

It is imperative to ask a nanny if there are any situations in her
life that may affect your children's or your family's safety. It is
a rare occurrence, but it is possible that someone may wish your
nanny harm.

An agency owner related this story: "We had a nanny placed - her
background check was perfect and she was doing a great job for the
family when her husband showed up at the house one day and beat her
up and even pulled a gun on her in front of the children. It was
horrific. If we or the parents had asked her if she had any spousal
or boyfriend problems we would have been aware of this character
(she had reported him for domestic violence previously) and probably
learned that they were going through a messy divorce and no longer
living together. Maybe she would have gotten the job and maybe the
parents would have warned her to not give their address to anyone or
to let anyone into their home. No one asked and on one knew about
him."

Reverse Questions
Encourage a potential nanny to ask questions about your family, and
be open when answering reasonable ones. The initial interview is as
much an interview for the employer as it is for the nanny. An
experienced nanny will have an idea about the kind of family that is
a good match for her. A nanny might prefer to work for a family that
does not use physical discipline, or may not be comfortable with
certain religious values.

Just as you will be putting your faith in a nanny, she is also
relying on you. A nanny has to protect herself from sexual
harassment, abuse, marital problems and families who don't pay. An
unreliable employer can damage a nanny's credit or reputation,
affecting her life for years. Even on a basic level, inconsistent
hours and last minute changes affect our personal lives,
appointments, college classes and budgets.

Be open with the nanny about any potential difficulties within your
family. A pending divorce, a move, even home renovations will
greatly affect her work life, and she deserves to know. Encourage
her to talk with any former nannies and babysitters.

There are topics to cover for the benefit of both sides. But there
is a way to do it without being unkind. With a little thought, both
parties can find out what they need to know while respecting
individual privacy.

Parents and agencies should be reminded that a nanny is a person,
not a domestic servant drafted into not having a life or feelings.
Allowing a nanny to be a professional and to display her hard-earned
knowledge is a much better use of interview time.

Raising the level of interview questions is crucial to legitimizing
the nanny profession. Keeping the good nannies and weeding out the
bad depends on better, more accurate interviews. Let's start asking
the right questions, and leave the meddling ones behind.

Karen Braschayko is a nanny and freelance writer in Ypsilanti,
Michigan. karenbraschayko@hotmail.com
 

Why it is Important to be CPR Certified

A Nanny’s Worst Nightmare

This is an appeal to all of you nannies out there:                        
If you haven’t already: Get CPR/First Aid Certified.                   
I’m  so grateful that I did.

I do nanny-share for two infant boys.

One day in February I put the 10 wk. old in the crib with a baby monitor close by.  I then went to the kitchen to feed the 6 mo. old.  After awhile, I heard on the monitor, which was right next to me, that the little one was waking up.  He was fussing a little, so I told the 6 mo. old “Eat up – we need to go get your buddy!”.  Then the sound from the monitor changed.  Nothing really alarming, just didn’t “sound right”.

I picked up the big boy, took him upstairs and sat him in his crib.  I walked into the room where the little one was.  He was laying on his back, his back was arched and his eyes were wide open.  He was a pale color of  blue. I ran and picked him up, flipped him over frantically patted him on the back. I tried to put my finger in his mouth, but his jaws were clinched shut! He was very rigid and wasn’t making a sound.  I grabbed him and ran to the parents bedroom.  I laid him on his side like I was taught at the infant CPR class, and called 911. I screamed into the phone “Help me! The baby is not breathing!” The woman on the other end very calmly said “Is he laying on his side?” Yes. “Open his mouth and see if there is anything in there”. Although I had tried before, this time I pried his little gums open. Saliva came out and he made a small sound.  The 911 operator said “Yes! I heard that! That’s good!” After giving her the address (I can’t believe I remembered it!) she said “The ambulance is on the way.” I didn’t even hang up the phone.  The baby was still very rigid and his color was terrible.  I ran down the stairs, laid him on his side and waited for the ambulance, patting and rubbing his back, and whispering in his ear that it was going to be okay, even though I didn’t believe it. A few minutes later there was a knock on the door and the Sheriff  burst in. He picked up the baby and called on his radio – presumably to the ambulance that was en-route.  He said “The baby is still in distress” and then he ran outside with the baby to meet the ambulance that was just pulling up.

I have no idea what the Paramedics did – they wouldn’t let me look in the ambulance. But I do know that I was absolutely sure that that little baby was going to die.

They told me to meet them at the hospital. I called the baby’s mom, told her what happened in a calm voice (I didn’t know where it came from, but now I’m convinced that all nannies have one in there to use to reassure the parents even when we ourselves are terrified.). I told her which hospital to meet us at, hung up the phone and for the first time since this started burst into tears.  I grabbed the other baby and headed on auto pilot to a hospital I had never been to before.   I called my husband on my cell phone as I drove and between sobs I told him what happened. I said I was sure that the baby would be dead when I got to the hospital, and I was already crying for  his parents who would surely be grieving by now. My husband wanted me to pull the car over, he was afraid I would get into an accident. When I told him I needed to keep driving, he told me he would meet me at the hospital (which, bless his heart, he did).  I ran into the ER, carrying the 6 mo. old. I was crying so hard by then I had trouble asking where they had takn him.   Finally, she pointed to the cubicle.  I was terrified to walk in there.  A doctor walked out, saw me approaching with my blotchy, teary face.  He looked confused for a second and then smiled and put his thumb up.  I walked past the curtain and was greeted by the other mom, who is a doctor (I had called her too). She hugged me and said “He’s okay!”

I had to hand her baby over to her because I honestly thought I would faint from relief.  There on the examining table, with tubes coming out all over, was this tiny pink (yes, pink! My new favorite color!) sweetheart.

Everyone told me I had done everything right. This was a hard pill to swallow since at that moment I felt terribly inadequate.  In fact, in my mind I was already going through all of the things that I might have done differently.

The medical people, including my doctor/mom insisted that I had handled the crises very well and that the baby was alive because of it.  They put him on a monitor for 24 hours to make sure he didn’t stop breathing again. They said we may never know what caused it. He may have even spit up and aspirated. It has been almost 2 months and I still get chills thinking – what if I had been in another room and not heard the “not quite right” sound?

Ginger asked me to write about my experience to reinforce to all of you nannies, the importance of getting your CPR/First Aid certification and keeping it current.  The parents of my babies said “Thank God you had that class” and I said “But I was still terrified and I still felt so helpless”.  My doctor/mom convinced me with her next statement: “Think how you would have felt if this happened and you HAD NOT'’ had the training.” I can’t even imagine. I don’t know what would have happened. Would instinct alone have been enough? I didn’t have to perform CPR, but if the 911 operator had told me to, I could have, and I knew it.

With all my heart I hope that none of you ever have to go through something like this, and if you have already, my heart goes out to you.

Now take a peek at that CPR card in your wallet and see if you are coming due for re-certification. If you don’t have one, take the class and get one.

 CPR Classes are available through the Red Cross. You can also find classes at the YMCA, and most local  hospitals offer CPR classes to the community. There are also certified CPR counselors that will come to your home and help you get your certification.

Believe it or not, you can even get your certification online.

Here are a couple of links.

 CPR Pros

You can also practice your CPR here on this simulator.
CPR Simulator

Avoiding Sophomore Slump! by Marni Kent

AVOIDING THE SOPHOMORE SLUMP!
By Marni Kent
Ok, you have just completed your Freshman year, you survived the honeymoon period, you have relentlessly demonstrated your knowledge, skills and abilities. Your employer gave you a serious vote of confidence by offering you a raise and a contract extension.
How do you avoid complacency and overconfidence with your new found wealth and job security. Simply put, you continue to give an effort as though you were on the verge of being replaced by a new and more efficient model. As long as we all approach our employer families with the vigor and motivation, we can be sure to enjoy success and prosperity for years to come. Remember, your employer only owes you your paycheck, nothing more. It's up to us as nannies to position our selves in a manner that gives your employer a belief that you are the mechanism that makes the household machine run. Strive to be the last thing your employer has to lend thought too. Most employer families that are fortunate enough to have a professional nanny at their disposal, have extremely busy lives, and for your employer to have the luxury of not worrying about you and your performance should be the goal of every nanny. While none of us are indispensable, you should approach your job with the mission of attempting make yourself irreplaceable. I suspect that is exactly the sort of effort you put forth in your " freshman " year. Always remember, the past is actually the present. Efforts and decisions we make today, will shape your job and career of tomorrow.  

Dream Job

By Marni Kent

Professional Nanny Dream Job

In December of 2006, I accepted what I thought to be the ultimate position, to the pinnacle of my career as a nanny. I thought this was a family of values, morales, and integrity, only to discover it was the most dysfunctional high profile family I have encountered in my career.

Part of the thinking was manifested by myself, and falsehoods that were stated by the employer. The lesson to be learned here is to do the best work you can, also, always exceed not only your employers expectations but your own.

While it's very nice to hear an employer express their long term commitment to you, you should always remain cautious to the point of working like you are not going to be there the next day. From time to time, we want to believe our employer has our best interest at heart, and as a result of this belief we lose perspective of how empty those words can be a lot of the time.

It becomes a tough pill to swallow when though no fault of your own, your employer has a knee jerk reaction to a negative family event that costs you your job!

My point in sharing this with you is that sometimes we become so immersed in the family circle that we forget we are an employee only, and still an outsider looking in. To this end never forget you are an advocate for the children, and not a referee to the parents.

So stay focused, determined, keep doing what you love most in your profession. 

Quotes about Nannies

These quotes were adapted by 
Sarah from BC
Nannies should be honored for the lives left in their hands...
We need to give them credit for their 'footprints' in the sand.

Nannies are like heroes, for the difference that they make...
For investing more than hours, for giving more than they take.

A Nanny's job is priceless, such precious minds to reach...
A job done out of compassion and love for the ones they teach.

When a nanny values children, it shows in their attitude....
There's a sense of true compassion, in what they say and do.

What makes a nanny special, is the content of the heart...
It starts with a love of children, what a beautiful way to start.

A Nanny has a mission to make a difference in the world...
Instilling values in our children, every boy and every girl.

A Nanny looks at the face of innocence and light...
Give them strength and wisdom, to teach our children right.

A Nanny is an angel, who can touch a child's heart...
And make them feel their value to give them a wonderful start.

A Nanny shapes our children, in ways we will never know...
They challenge and inspire them and prepare them as they grow.

A Nanny puts no boundaries, when it comes to our children's minds...
The sky is surely the limit, imaginations an endless climb.

A Nanny serves with wisdom and helps children shine...
She teaches them to keep searching for the goals they hope to find.

A Nanny earns a child's respect by understanding what they say...
By listening to their problems, and being mindful of them every day.

Children, honor your nanny, and respect the work they do...
They aren't in it for the money, they are there for the love of you.

Most nannies have a story, about an extra ordinary child...
Each one holds special memories that makes their job worthwhile.

It takes grace to be a nanny with a heart for every child...
Knowing when to discipline and when to comfort with a smile.

The smartest kind of nanny, is the kind that truly knows...
Its not the clothes your wearing, its your attitude that shows.

What a difference for our children, when a nanny really cares...
A touch of understanding, can take them anywhere.

Nannies come and nannies go, but are never far away...
They leave a lasting impression, its their attitudes that stay.

The value of a nanny, is more than words can say...
They live to make a difference, they strive for a better day.

What makes a nanny special, is the content of the heart...
It starts with a love of children, what a beautiful way to start.


Thank you to our nanny, who gives her life each day...
In service to our children, to show them a better way.


Bless this special nanny,
Give her grace to see her through....
Bless the children she is teaching
And let love shine upon them, too.


FROM CHILD

Bless my nanny, who speaks the words of truth to me...
Let my nanny be an inspiration as I process and receive.